Letters To My Dancing Star

“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.” ― Nietzsche

I started writing letters to my daughter when she was 12 weeks old.  I write to her about how wonderful she is, about our fears as parents, about milestones and achievements and sometimes I write about a single moment.

I write so that I never forget anything.

I write so that I have a safe place to lock up all the overwhelming emotions. When I am watching her sleep and my heart feels like it is about to cave in, I can turn that moment into words, move on and look forward to the next one.

I write so that I never lose sight of the wonderful and happy times, especially on days that are difficult and exhausting.

Someday I will collect my big book of letters and bind it and hand it over to her, so that she may see the journey through my eyes.

When I started writing these letters, they were an outlet and a means to record memories. Over time, this collection has become a kind of reference manual. As my daughter got older, the challenges of being a parent changed. But I could always look back at these letters and derive a sense of comfort from them. Even a sense of confidence. We could tell ourselves “We handled it then, we survived it. We can most certainly do it now!” By sharing them I hope I can find others who can relate to the exhilarating highs and lows of parenting. I would love to hear from you if you have stories and experiences to share.

Letters To A Dancing Star – Trophies and Milestones

Introduction

Age: 5 to 7 Months

Numbers have never meant so much. We measure, we calculate, we track – our celebrations and despair have become entirely numeric. Continue reading

Letters To A Dancing Star – Listen To Your Heart, Always

Introduction

Date: March 1, 2011

Age: 9 Months

You sleep on your back without a care. We call it “wild abandon”. The blanket has been thrown off to the side, your hands are above your shoulders and your bow-shaped lips have a perpetual half-smile. I place my hand on your tiny chest and feel the vibration travel up through my wrist, clenching my heart with a vise-like grip. Your heart beats almost twice as fast as mine – twice as happy, twice as energetic, twice as important. It is soft and gentle, but imperative. Continue reading

Letters to a Dancing Star – 3 days, More Questions, Few Answers, Infinite Emotions

Introduction

Date: Aug 30th, 2010

Age:3-6 months

 

The thing that makes me feel most helpless these days is my inability to read your mind.

Do you like certain colors more?

Do you have a favorite corner in the house where you are most comfortable? Continue reading

Letters to a Dancing Star – Let’s Start At The Beginning

Date: Aug 24, 2010:

Age: 12 Weeks

You are 12 weeks old – already! You have changed so much…I have to keep looking at your photos to remember what you looked like when you were born.

Everyday with you is Continue reading